Editor’s note Welcome to the first edition of the CMI Chronicle! I can think of no better way to open this new chapter than a season-opening letter to warm our collective cockles from the Classic Memorial Invitational league Commissioner, Matty Francis.
To my sweet CMI Comrades,
As I reflect on the upcoming 13th season of this vaunted fraternity, it feels like an opportune time to celebrate our unique heritage and evolution.
Far be it for me to attempt to define, and therefore limit, such a chaotic galaxy of personalities, conquests and failures. But it's worth a shot. For beneath all the cum jokes, performative masculinity, ironic jabs and jousts lies a deep reservoir of devotion and love. For each and everyone of us are not mere 'sports bros' in the pejorative sense. Nay, we are something far more complex and endearing. This is not a league where big money is won, where every game is dissected nor even watched. It is a league instead defined by friendship and humor.
Since the beginning, the Classic Memorial Invitational was indeed an invite for connection as many of its managers were scattered across the globe. Remarkably, a majority of the league has found its way back to the great State of Vermont. Only recently has a quorum been established for an in-person draft. Where we were once surrounded by a hundred beers, we now find ourselves surrounded by a hundred children and adult obligations. And yet the pressures of fatherhood for many managers has not dimmed the commitment and drive to push the league well into its second decade.
The early years of the CMI also established a penchant for laughs and a shared sense of absurdist humor. These were marked by weekly recaps written by a handful of managers. They were a glimmer of light each week in the fall and winter from our respective office chairs. Fortunately, Coach Mike has shouldered this weekly burden with his robust technological prowess, even adding a podcast. We are all inspired, delighted, and grateful.
A season of course evokes all that makes life worth living: warmth, light, darkness, change, growth, decay. There's certainly no better group of guys this commissioner would rather experience one with. Here's to the 13th, go forth and ride ye noble steeds to greatness and beyond!
- Your Humble Commissioner
Sam Wadhams kept nobody, took Puka Nacua at 1.02, and leaves the draft with the league's best projected lineup at 2075.7, some 3.9 points clear of Tim Kelly. The defending champion is fifth.
Wadhams arrived with no keepers and no obligations, which appears to have been an advantage. Nacua at 1.02, CeeDee Lamb at 2.02, Drake London at 3.02, then Brock Purdy in the ninth round at 319 projected points. ESPN's draft grade agrees with ESPN's projections and ranks him first of twelve. Last season he finished ninth, 5-9, with 1480.0 points.
Kelly, twelve seasons and no title, sits 3.9 behind on the strength of Bijan Robinson at 346 and Jaxson Dart in round eight at 322. Ian Dudley opened the whole draft with Omarion Hampton, Ashton Jeanty and Nico Collins after a 2-12 season worth 1243.5 points, and the machine likes him fourth. Tom Pauza finishes twelfth holding two quarterbacks projected above 300.
The projections span 240.6 points from Wadhams at the top to Pauza at the bottom, which across fourteen weeks amounts to very little. Every roster below contains a plausible champion and a load-bearing weakness. The case for and against all twelve.
Why they win He kept nobody and simply took the best board in the room: Nacua 327, Lamb 269, and Brock Purdy at 319 found in round nine.
Why they lose He went 5-9 with 1480.0 points last year, Mahomes is questionable, and no lineup has ever benefited from owning three quarterbacks.
Why they win Bijan Robinson at 346 kept alongside Justin Jefferson, then Jaxson Dart at 322 in round eight. Second in projection, second in grade.
Why they lose Twelve seasons, 6-9 in the playoffs, nothing to show. Breece Hall is questionable and Hall is the entire flex plan.
Why they win Jahmyr Gibbs projects 365, the highest of any back here, with Saquon Barkley at 276 behind him. Champion in 2024, 9-7 in playoffs.
Why they lose After Malik Nabers at 218 the roster thins alarmingly; his best late pick was Kenny Gainwell, 156. Nabers, Flowers and LaPorta all questionable.
Why they win He owned the first pick of every round: Hampton, Jeanty, Collins, plus KaVontae Turpin at 219 in the thirteenth and Stafford at 321.
Why they lose Two wins and 1243.5 points last season, 63-98 career, twelve years without a title, and Jeanty is already listed questionable.
Why they win Four titles and 11-5 in the playoffs. Ja'Marr Chase 309 and Jaxon Smith-Njigba 302 kept, Kyler Murray at 305 in round eleven.
Why they lose The champion projects 1946.1, fifth, some 129.6 behind Wadhams, and both Chase and D'Andre Swift are carrying question marks in September.
Why they win Jalen Hurts 341, Jonathan Taylor 323, and Bo Nix at 317 in the eleventh round. A team named Fred Durst fears nothing.
Why they lose He is 22-34 career with a playoff record of 0-0, finished eleventh on 1684.5 points, and Josh Jacobs is day to day.
Why they win Christian McCaffrey 324 and De'Von Achane 287, with Jared Goff at 295 in round nine. Two titles, 10-5 in the playoffs.
Why they lose Seventh at 1936.8, and the team is now named in tribute to a quarterback he did not draft. Egbuka questionable.
Why they win Drake Maye projects 348, best in the league behind Josh Allen, with Kenneth Walker 271 and Javonte Williams 263 supporting him.
Why they lose Back-to-back 7-7 seasons, 2-4 in the playoffs, nothing won since 2018, and a kept first-round tight end projected at 204.
Why they win Nobody in the league wins regular seasons like a 96-65 career record. Trevor Lawrence 312 in round seven, St. Brown 294, Cook 290.
Why they lose One playoff win against nine defeats across twelve seasons. Projected 1903.4, and ESPN's draft grade files him tenth of twelve.
Why they win Justin Herbert at 305 in the seventh round, Derrick Henry 299, A.J. Brown 228, and 90-71 across eleven previous campaigns.
Why they lose No keepers, 1900.2 projected, tenth. Spending 1.09 on Derrick Henry in 2026 is a wager against the calendar itself.
Why they win Josh Allen projects 396, the largest number on any roster in the league, 31 clear of the field. He went 9-5 last year.
Why they lose Eleventh at 1863.2. After Allen it is Kyren Williams 232 and Chris Olave 224. Nothing won since 2015, 70-91 career.
Why they win Lamar Jackson 350 and Dak Prescott 311 is more quarterback than anyone needs, and Jeremiyah Love at 3.03 projects 263.
Why they lose Last at 1835.1, TreVeyon Henderson already listed out, Love and Kittle questionable, 47-75 career and 0-1 in the playoffs.
Wadhams v Pauza — Eight all. Top projection meets bottom, 240.6 points apart.
Francis v Merritt — Merritt leads 14-10. Gibbs at 365 against Derrick Henry.
Pfeiffer v Abbott — The champion leads 11-8. Six combined titles, none shared.
Littlehale v Borah — Littlehale 5-3. Jalen Hurts against Trevor Lawrence, 341 versus 312.
Dudley v Kelly — Dudley 12-10 between two men, twenty-four seasons, zero titles.
Gervais v Hefferon — Gervais 9-6. Drake Maye 348 against Josh Allen 396.
Heavy quarterback accumulation over Not Today Satan. Tom advised to install drainage before Sunday afternoon.
Persistent questionable warnings across Beef Dip. Matty should keep Nabers, Flowers and LaPorta indoors until further notice.
Bright and settled over Ham Stroker's Ejacula. Sam enjoys week one; thirteen seasons say the front moves in.
Playoff fog returning to The Bucky Bunkisses. Mike, 1-9 in January, advised to pack lanterns early.